The Robots Have no Clothes!

The robotics industry is emphasizing capability over capacity and audiences are cringing.

Robots are intrinsically worthless.  They are mounds of metals, bolts, and circuits deemed meaningless until their functionalities dictate otherwise.

Swiss architect and 2009 Pritzker Laureate Peter Zumthor once said: “I think the chance of finding beauty is higher if you don’t work on it directly.  Beauty in architecture is driven by practicality.”

Is it possible to arrange a sit-down between Mr. Zumthor and the robotics industry?

Fanciful headlines are circulating mainstream media about “high-flying acrobatic robots” and “humanoids delivering coffee” — but what problems are these machines solving?

Don’t be fooled, it isn’t difficult to make a practical robot.  It’s only difficult when you’ve invested a lot of money in mental masturbation.  iRobot disrupted the vacuum cleaner industry with a design – “Roomba” – that DIY enthusiasts comprehend.

According to Keyante Bridge, soldering is the most difficult part of Roomba’s construction.

Maybe it was vanity that led techies down the rabbit hole of aesthetics.  Whatever the reason, they should refocus on the gutters of the real world.

Let’s get one thing straight – unless it involves sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll, a robot shouldn’t be within human-speaking range of its owner.

Forget the hype about intimacy with robot-caretakers. Ultimately, care-taking robots will serve one purpose — fetching pill boxes from the medicine cabinet.

The real home for robots is in human fantasy as conjurers of otherworldly data.

For example, Roomba is magical.  In the morning, a Roomba owner notices a gross pile of something near the fridge.  When the owner returns for lunch, the pile is gone in some kind of metaphysical miracle.

Perhaps there’s a little too much silicon in Silicon Valley’s coffee. Most ventures involve products that are clearly tailored to retweets, likes, and emoticons.

Industry is emphasizing capability over capacity and audiences are cringing.  #humies

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